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Immediate Safety Notice
If you are in immediate danger right now, call 911.
If you need abuse-related support right away:
- Assaulted Women’s Helpline (Ontario):
1-866-863-0511, TTY1-866-863-7868, available 24/7 in over 200 languages - National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): call
800-799-SAFE (7233), textSTARTto88788, or visit thehotline.org - ShelterSafe: sheltersafe.ca to help locate shelters in Canada
- Legal Aid Ontario:
1-800-668-8258
This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Survivor safety comes first. If using a shared device may put you at risk, call from a safer phone or contact a shelter or helpline instead of staying online.
Leaving an abusive relationship can be one of the most dangerous times in the entire pattern of abuse. A safety plan is not about doing everything perfectly. It is about making the next step safer.
Start With the Safest Immediate Question
Ask yourself:
- Am I in immediate danger right now?
- Can I call
911safely? - Is there a trusted person or place I can get to quickly?
If the answer points to immediate risk, prioritize getting out and getting help. Detailed planning can come after the emergency if necessary.
If It Is Safe to Prepare First
If you have some time and privacy, try to prepare around:
- where you will go
- who will know
- how you will get there
- what you will take
- how you will protect your children, pets, and digital privacy
You do not need to solve every future problem before leaving. Focus on the first safer step.
Basic Safety Planning Steps
Helpful preparation may include:
- identifying one or two trusted people
- choosing a code word that means “call police”
- planning the safest time to leave
- arranging transportation
- keeping emergency numbers somewhere you can access fast
Important Documents and Essentials
If it is safe, gather what you can, such as:
- ID
- passports
- health cards
- birth certificates
- immigration papers
- medications
- bank or benefit information
- children’s key records
- any existing court or police paperwork
If you cannot safely gather these, leave anyway if you need to. A shelter or legal service can help you rebuild from there.
The Go-Bag
A go-bag can be helpful if you have time to prepare one.
Possible contents include:
- ID and copies of documents
- medication
- keys
- cash if available
- charger and phone
- change of clothes
- children’s essentials
If keeping a bag at home is unsafe, consider leaving it with someone you trust.
Children
If children are involved, safety planning should also include:
- who can pick them up
- school or daycare alerts
- emergency contacts
- legal advice about immediate parenting issues
If you leave with children, get family-law advice quickly afterward so the situation is legally documented and protected as early as possible.
Pets
If pets are part of the household, plan for them too. Some shelters or local supports may help with temporary pet arrangements.
Digital Safety
Technology is a major safety issue in abuse cases.
Try to think about:
- location sharing on your phone
- shared passwords
- shared cloud accounts
- tracking apps
- smart home devices
- social media check-ins and tagged photos
If digital monitoring is a concern, a helpline or shelter can help you think through safer communication.
Emergency Shelter
You do not need to have everything figured out before going to a shelter.
Shelters can often help with:
- emergency housing
- food and essentials
- safety planning
- emotional support
- referrals to legal and financial help
Legal Protections
Depending on the situation, legal protections may include:
- police response and criminal charges
- bail conditions keeping the accused away
- peace bonds
- restraining orders
- family-court orders involving the home or children
If you want a practical comparison of protective options, see restraining orders vs. peace bonds in Ontario.
After You Leave
Ongoing safety planning may involve:
- keeping your location private
- changing routines
- telling work or school what they need to know
- documenting new incidents
- staying connected to support workers or counselors
You Do Not Need to Do This Alone
Useful Ontario and related resources include:
- Assaulted Women’s Helpline:
1-866-863-0511 - Victim Support Line:
1-888-579-2888 - Legal Aid Ontario:
1-800-668-8258 - ShelterSafe: sheltersafe.ca
- National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.):
800-799-SAFE
If the situation has already turned into a criminal case, our guide to no-contact orders explains how those protective orders work. If you are also dealing with family-court concerns, our criminal-and-family-court guide explains that overlap.
This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Safety planning should be tailored to your situation, and crisis supports should be used wherever possible.
FAQ
Questions first-time buyers ask before closing
These are some of the most common questions survivors ask when planning to leave an abusive relationship.
What is a safety plan?
It is a personalized strategy for leaving more safely, getting help quickly, and staying safer afterward.
Should I leave without planning if I am in immediate danger?
If you are in immediate danger, call 911 right away. A plan matters, but immediate safety comes first.
Do I need money or documents before I can go to a shelter?
No. Shelters can help even if you leave without cash, identification, or a full plan.
What should I think about if I have children?
Their physical safety, school pickup, emergency contacts, legal advice, and any urgent parenting or custody issues all matter.
Can legal protections help after I leave?
Yes. Depending on the situation, police action, bail conditions, restraining orders, peace bonds, and family-court remedies may all be relevant.
Legal Disclaimer
This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute formal legal advice or establish a solicitor-client relationship. Reading this post does not replace obtaining advice from a licensed lawyer about your specific matter.